The Stale Tail

...

2010-07-09T09:06:00.001-07:00

on that dro...

2010-06-21T12:48:00.001-07:00

..

2010-06-14T13:01:00.001-07:00

...

2010-06-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

CCB

2010-04-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

Crenshaw blvd.

2010-04-03T16:20:00.000-07:00

Gas, dip, break

2010-03-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

AK beater gets PWN3D by ghost rider snowmachine! from keith wigdor on Vimeo.

another one from boardasfuck.

Bird

2010-03-14T19:18:00.001-07:00

SW

2010-03-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

Stolen from... boardasfuck.com

Beav fuel...

2010-02-21T16:27:00.001-08:00

Jt, NY

...

2010-02-21T10:12:00.001-08:00

Bald head

2010-02-20T16:33:00.001-08:00

Whiplash

2010-02-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

Boom Town baby

2010-02-07T15:04:00.001-08:00

Free wings

Shit

2010-02-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

Yup.

Internetworking

2010-01-30T20:49:00.000-08:00

Get bent or don't

Rad Tip Tuesday - Update Blog

2009-08-25T19:24:00.001-07:00

What's that? you want me to what? Do you have any idea how busy I am? Shit well its Tuesday right? I know but... You're right. What do I say though. It's been so long. And my predictions were so far off. But people believed me. I know but. That shit wasn't cheap. I guess I am a sucker for crystal balls and moon dust. No I have no idea. A what? Something about riding the rails or something. No, hobos, not snowboarding. A bowgen is something totally different. No one cares about that. Ok, hang on.

No nothing. I was just... nevermind. No I have no idea. Didn't I just say that? Ok, more cheese pizza though right? Yea, eat more Wok Inn. Right, just rent a scooter next time. Yea, I'll say a real post is coming soon.

Follow up on Guido Beach

2009-06-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Long Island Wants to Secede

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Jason Jones in Iran

Action Sporting at Guido Beach

2009-06-09T13:49:00.000-07:00

Editors Note: Making fun of spiky haired, spray tanned, muscle milk drinking kooks, is too easy, has been massively over done, and is generally below our level here at stale tails. That being said, the following is a true account of a weekend spent on the Jersey Shores, and attempts to show the cool side of action sports, alive and well in the Italian American community.

The pounding waves send spray over the seawall, lightly showering a small crowd. Two men in ripped, acid wash jeans, designer sunglasses, and tight fitting Ed Hardy t-shirts dance next to one another as the gathered spectators look on. Scantly clad young women cheer in accented tongues while others just look on in sheer wonderment, unsure of how to react to the spectacle taking place in front of them.

While such a festive scene is often reserved for spring break locations and Mardi Gras recreations, its just a typical Saturday morning on the New Jersey shore- a place where the budlight (lime please!) flows like water, and the locals know how to keep it cool in the hot summer sun.

Ever since some asshole with a new haircut and a Heineken fetish discovered Youtube its been open season on the “Guido” population. Sure the spray tans, spikey hair, and small t-shirts look funny to those unfamiliar with it, but so do XL jackets, slim fit pants, and dream catchers. The fact of the matter is these dudes and chicks do more for action sports than most could ever know, you could say without the kooks there would be no core, but that would be dumb. What wouldn’t be dumb would be sitting down with the Gaudiest Guido boarder the Jersey Shore has to offer (no not Shane Pospsisil), to find out why his people are so misunderstood, and what’s good with-on Muscle Beach (new slang, not typo).

In the back of a dimly lit Smoothie Bar and Tanning Salon I met Nicky “Vinny” Napalioni. A Construction worker by trade, Nicky considers himself an Entrepreneurial Businessman who is waiting for the right time to launch his clothing company, Rush Blaxt. Vinny’s first started riding at Hunter Mountain in NY, and was the fastest boarder in the Seaside Heights Highschool Class of 2003. Since then his “competitive Career” has slowed considerable, but as he will tell you he still loves to hit the slopes.

Wammybar: Hey Vinny, hows it bro?

Nicky N: Listen Chief, I’ll ask the questions around here

W: …

N: Nah, I’m fucking with you, everything is good bro. USA BABY!

W: Aw, cool man, cool. So how did you get into snowboarding?

N: Funny you should ask that, I read your little write up and it looks like you already said how the fuck I got into snowboarding, so don’t waste my time funny man.

W: Sorry dude, just thought you might want to add to what I said

N: YANKEES BABY! Fuck’in love it!

W: Right. What is the action sports scene like in on the Jersey Shore?

N: Well you know, we like to get after it, and I’m not just talking ‘bout skirts. There is a long history of action sports here in Jersey. It all started when Tony Hollister invented surfing here in the 1970’s, and we haven’t really looked back since. From there it’s gone to skateboarding, skimboarding, muscleboarding, wakeboarding, snowboard’in, shit if its got a board, we got in Jersey baby.

W: Right on. Why do you think NJ has the rep it does?

N: Haha, what the rep? for bein the best fuck’in place in the USA! Fuck’in right! If you wanna say something about our style or whatever, people are just trying to catch up, ya knw what I’m saying? I mean where do you think Armani X-Change started? Aeropsotal? Pac Sun? We brought this shit over with us from Sicily ya know, and its like, we can’t help us if god himself granted us with these good looks, and easily tan-able skin. It’ll take most people a few years to catch up.

W: yup…

TO BE CONTINUED

Two Thousand and Ten (different) Teasers

2009-05-26T11:35:00.000-07:00

Urrghhh… Shoot dang, the last month or so of no updates served as a filter to weed out casual observers of the site. With more than 10k page views a day, it was time to let things cool out for a bit and get the beaters out of here. That plus a quick trip upstate to keep the core score up…

Anyway, spring and summer time isn’t really riding season anymore, but it is teaser season. While, you’ve probably seen all these on Transworld or whatever already, you might want to watch again, just in case you missed something. Every few days we’ll put up a few new ones, so keep your browser locked.

Variety Pack “Not Bad”

Calling a video “Not Bad” is a really good way to keep expectations in check. If they called the video “Really Good” and it wasn’t really good, think about how dumb that would be. This way Eddie has set the bar really low, and you will probably not be underwhelmed.

Vaca Films “So Much to Say”

I don’t really have too much to say about this, except that I wish I had posted it a couple days ago, cause they just put it up on Transworld, and everyone will think that’s where I saw, but I swear I saw it like SOOO long ago. Dang.

Transworld “Get Real”
This video is going to be so rad, it doesn’t even need a teaser, it has a website. Lago, Mikey Rencz, and some other chumps stunt on this one. Whatever whatever bro.

Rome Snowboards “Magic Bus Rides and Love”

Keeping up with snowboard trends is not really that hard.

A Tats of Spring

2009-04-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

Spring time is a time for new things. Its evident all around us- from the sound of the bee’s buzzing, to new buds on the trees, to the new found squirrel lovers chasing one another through those same trees. The sweet smell of fresh foliage fills the air, and the suns rays, recharged from a winters worth of rest, warm the earth.

While for us boarders (snow) spring time means the end of another season, it doesn’t mean that we can’t also share in the newness of spring. Nothing gets you over riding like the fresh redness of a new tat. Something cool is always a good choice, but sometimes something funny is very rad also. If you’re not sure, you can always get something regretful. Check out what these snowboard heavy hitters having been getting tatted with this spring for inspiration.

Bozwreck

Bozwreck
Bozwreck

Burton filmer Tim Manning

The first person to send in a photo of a fresh face tat will win a very awesome prize (prize quality will very based on size and location of face tat). Send entries to staletails@gmail.com

Thanks, and happy inking.

Yeahz.

2009-04-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

Not only is this the closest thing to a hoverboard currently available on the market, but it will also sand and buff the floor of your dinning room.

Visit the Scarpar team on twitter.

Stay At Home Saturdays: Cross Training and You

2009-04-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you not lucky enough to live somewhere other than the Northeast, the end of board’in season is fast approaching. That being said, the start of next season is just around the corner, and its prime time to start cross training. My cousin is a personal trainer (check out his site here), so I called him up the other day to talk about some good summertime activities to keep fit for the 2010 season. Over the next few Saturday’s (not necessarily Saturday) a few riding category specific posts will be posted for you to get a little more fit by.

FreestyleIf you’re all about air-time make sure you start your next season on the right foot with some freestyle boarding specific cross training. Originally developed for basketball players, Strength Shoes are ergonomically designed to focus on strength building in your lower calf muscle and metacarpal tonal conditioning. Basically just strap these babies on and go about your daily routine. Before you know it you’ll be leaping at least twice as high as you used to.

Please stay tuned for more fitness tips for all boarding types: All Mountain Freestyle, All Mountain, Alpine (Downhill), Alpine (Tandem), Alpine (Slalom), Boarder X, Freeride, All Mountain Freeride, Banked Slalom, Jib, Park, Halfpipe

World Quarterpipe Championships...

2009-04-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

Yup.

Thanks Donald, we had fun.

A Spiritual Journey with Lonnie Kauk

2009-03-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

EDITORS NOTE: Please open another browser window, and play this audio while reading. Thanks.

At the beginning of time, the Ancient Spirit created a great people. A thousand times as large as man, the great people followed the herds of Mammoth across the Sierra Plains. The tribe was lead by a very strong young Chief. He was a great hunter, who could jump high into the air, throwing his spear with grace at any game in the plains. But the young Chief grew greedy. No longer caring for the Ancient Spirit, he soon killed all the mammoth in the land, leaving only the creatures small enough to dodge his great weapon.

Soon there was no food for his people, who began to see the unwise ways of their chief. They grew too tired to continue hunting, and chose to stand still. Angered by this the young Chief, who was now also growing hungry, made a deal with the demon serpent snake of the plains. The serpent taught him the magic to steal the souls of his people and feed on thier souls, and in return took all of the Chief's grace away from him. With this new magic in hand, the Chief roamed the plans, stealing his peoples souls in such an inartistic way that even the serpent snake had to cringe, leaving the tribes soulless bodies as great mountains. The Ancient Spirit saw this and blasted the young chief with moon beam so powerful it shattered him into a million pebbles, and returned the tribe their souls.

Today the tribe is known as the Sierra Nevada Mountains Range, and their spirits guard the great peaks they have become...

As red and gold rays brighten the eastern sky, my spirit soars high with the eagle, my body runs with the wolf, my energy is strong like the bear. I feel the spirits of the mountains all around me. I speak to them, they guide me down from their summits, and encourage me to dance through the air above their snow covered slopes. They warn me of the soul sucker, the one who will unbalance my spirit and spin wildly.

Beware of those who do no care for the Ancient Spirit, even if they have a really nice method. wink*

-Lonnie

Lonnie Kauk is a professional snowboarder from Yosemite, California. He currently lives in Mammoth Lakes, California, and rides for DC Shoe CO. For more on Lonnie check out Standard Films 2009 release Aesthetica, in stores everywhere.

Shaun hits the Pipe, in Private.

2009-02-27T15:22:00.000-08:00

Crouched below the spinning rotor blades, the smell of Redbull mixed with jet fuel is nearly overpowering. As the heli lifts off things begin to take shape around us, the outline of a massive halfpipe just visible through the low light and swirling snow. The sound of the helicopter is suddenly muted as an ultra bright light flashes above, a loud mechanical boom echo’s, and I fall backwards, partially blinded with ears ringing…

Two weeks earlier stories had begun circulating the internet about a private halfpipe being built somewhere deep in the Colorado back country for boardsports super star Shaun White. While speculation may work fine in financial markets, the world of snowboard blogging is not so receptive to the rumor mill, and I knew I had to get to the bottom of the story with this one. A few days of phone calls, faxes, and secret handshakes and I was boarding a plane to somewhere. 20 hours in the air, and I didn’t need to take off my blindfold to know that we weren’t anywhere in Colorado.

Chasing the last rays of light across the desert floor, sometime over the last few hours our plane had turned into a helicopter and we were fast approaching a giant mound on the horizon. The heli slowed its speed and it seemed like we were going to land on the summit of the now fully visible mountain, but as we got closer the top of the mountain began to open. Slowly we entered the roof of the mountain; the hologram of a scientist appeared out of nowhere and began to tell me about the project. Deep within this artificial mountain, located deep within the deserts of La Guajira, Columbia, lies the most perfect artificial halfpipe ever constructed.

Sculpted by gold diamond laser welders, the 22ft pipes transition are true to the 1/1000th of a degree. Due to the heat given off by the lasers, normal snow wouldn’t do, so they created a synthetic snow like material made from mixing cream of wheat with Red Bull. The scientist explained that eating the snow was part of a well balanced breakfast, and each handful had the mind focusing effects of drinking two Red Bulls. While the rumors of a foam pit were unwarranted, the pipe did include a 30ft. extension, a loop, a double loop, and an anti-gravity section powered by one of those stationary sky diving fans.

Back to the flash of light. Paralyzed by fear I had fallen backwards into total darkness. Maybe a minute, maybe an hour or even a week passed, and as I opened my eyes I saw everyone standing around me; Shaun, Jesse, Adam, and even the hologramed scientist. Behind them was a giant robot, a helicopter with airplane wings, standing tall like a giant man, it had a belly of snowcat tracks and a mustache made of pipe cutters. It spoke to me through the scientist, explaining that to keep the pipe properly maintained Redbull had outsourced to a team of groomers from the planet Cybertron. For a quarter of the price of Frank Wells, the hybrid autobot-snowsazaurs not only kept the ground manicured but also protected against decepticon attacks. Once all this was explained to me, Shaun got back to riding, and I got to blogging.

Over the next few days and sleepless nights (courtesy of Redbull based snow seeping through my boots and absorbing into my bloodstream) Shaun elevated his pipe game to Chris Brewster esq. levels, Adam snapped some cover shots, and Jesse sketched a new Target line. While these words can’t fully recap the magnitude of the event, hopefully the T.V. commercials, magazine ads, and billboards will live on, long after the Robots take over.

Rad Tip Tuesday; The Higher Five

2009-02-17T12:29:00.000-08:00

High fives have been done to death, everyone from Politicians to Car Salesmen to Skiers slap hands and think it’s cool. This once epic act used to mark the accomplishment of something so rad a normal five just wouldn’t do, has been down graded to something regular Donny’s do at the end of every episode of Room Raider 2.0 (if you haven’t seen it, high five your way to MTV afternoons and catch a glimpse of how retarded America is becoming). So what can be done to re-invent this stale act of awesomeness? Enter the higher five…
Combining all the hype surrounding yoga and stretching with the lost luster of the original high five, the higher five is a high five, but you just reach up like really really high. By reaching as high as you can you are not only getting the endorphin boosting stoke out of stretching, but also proving to your fellow higher fiver that whatever just happened justified the extra effort and reward of reaching just a bit higher.You will immediately notice the effects of the higher five as increased flexibility will make you a way better person, heck you might even be able to grab crail now.

Rad Tip Tuesday; Helpful Hints to Make You More Rad Every Tuesday

2009-02-11T13:28:00.000-08:00

I know its Wednesday, but I’ve been on vacation.

Anyway, so an easy way for me to keep updating this blog is by committing to rhyming a word with a day of the week, then writing about it! Its been super helpful for like every other website out there. Buttery Ass Monday, Tastey Tuesday, Wednesday Woe , Thursday Theatre, Fierce Fridays, and Skate Mafia Saturday, are all so catchy that there is no way you wont check those sites on those days to keep updated so… welcome to Rad Tip Tuesday!
Anyway, Rad Tip Tuesday is going to be all about rad tips to help you live a more fulfilled existence. While I may not be the coolest person you know (I probably don’t even know you), chances are I am in your top 5 coolest people you know (even though you don't know me), so when I say something will make you more rad, you should probably listen. Rad Tips will cover all aspects of life, both snowboard and non-snowboard, and will help you do things like pull more chicks, party harder, jump higher, and hold your breathe longer, so make sure you check back every (wednes)Day!

Proper post Friday is coming up soon, so check back then too.

Peace

Wammybar

If that wasn't good enough for you, maybe this video will cheer you up.

Sniffing Glue with the Celsius Boot Crew

2009-01-28T12:31:00.000-08:00

With everything that is going on in snowboarding today, its pretty easy to get overwhelmed. I could do an SIA update, maybe spill some secrets on Bond Outerwear’s logo origin? Or how about the junk show that just went down at the X-Games? I could even blog about how cool Snow Scrappers is going to be and how much cooler it would be if they had a down hill ice skating match right after. Lucky for me as I was sitting down to write about all those, I got a call from my good friend Hans at Celsius boots. He and the rest of the boot crew were going to go sniff glue and drive around in a car and they wanted me to come along to get the inside scoop on their new skull candy colab. They picked me up in a totally boss van, we grabbed a couple plastic bags, I turned on the tape recorder, and we were off…

Wammybar- Hey dudes, howdit do?
Rusty Bertleman- Hey man, thanks for coming. We got some like really good glue.

Hans Heedamen- yea dude, like really good glue

Um… like in your boots?
R- nah man, for snifiing

H- yea man, for sniffing

Really, I thought you were joking, like for core score or whatever…
H- nah, for sniffing

We spent the next 5 or so minutes taking turns pouring glue into a bag, then putting it up to our faces and breathing. I dunno if I was doing it wrong or something, but all I got was a headache, Hans and Rusty got pretty wasted though I think. Go on…

So guys tell me about you new colab
H- haha, what

The thing with you and skull candy, how does a boot and headphone team up?
H- what like glue or something?

Huh? Never mind, tell me about you new speed zone system
R- you mean Celsius O.zone lacing system?

I dunno it, kinda looks a lot like speed zone. Isn’t that a copy right issue or something? I mean look at the handles?
R- your mother wears army boots.

H- yea you're an idiot jerk. I mean its like how can you own a handle, nobody owns a handle, its just like a handle. Can you handle that. (Rusty and Hans high five)

Yea dudes, sorry.
H- nah its alright, this glue just makes me a little crazy sometimes.

Alright, cool lets change the subject a bit. Where did the inspiration for the boot come from?
H- well we worked really closely with JP on the design and uh…

Wait JP? JP who?
H- Walker? What other JP’s are there?

Doesn’t he ride for 32?
R- huh?

H- well I mean, yea but whatever. We worked like really hard to get his input on the boots, like design wise.

You guys cereal?
H- was that a question? I think this dude has had too much glue.

Wait what? You're crazy man…
H- you’re the one sniffing glue, stainer.

Continued in prt. 2… Fade to black…

Many Mahalo's

2009-01-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

Nothing raises the aloha spirit like a bunch of haole's tossing shakkas! yeah bruddah bruddah! Many mahalo's to the homies at forum!

Grinding into our Soul’s: Nike SB is Legit!

2009-01-16T15:13:00.002-08:00

As a street musician plays an off beat rendition of Korn’s “Freak on a Leash” it happens. Faint at first, the sound of skates clacking over bricks steadily grows louder, until as if shot out of a cannon the blader blasts past me. Jumping high into the air he turns 180 degrees, landing backwards on the ledge, hand firmly grasping his kicked out leg. As he slides down the ledge, the last rays of a setting sun cast a golden halo around the fluffed out second tongue of this skates. Hopping off the ledge the blader continues down the road, and as he slowly disappeared into the horizon, so disappeared the totally boss idea of a double tongue from my memory. Until now…
When I first saw the all new Nike Zoom Force 1 “Double Tongue,” I knew I had seen them before, but just couldn’t put my finger on it. Laying in bed late that night, however, the imagery came rushing back like Jager shots after a push-up contest, and I was immediately back on that city street, music playing, blades thrashing. Nike has done some pretty cool shit so far (helicopter shots in urban Spokane, signing Gigi, etc), but having the fore- sight (or after-thought) to re-introduce double tongues to snowboarding takes the cake. Good on ya mates!

And By the Way…

2009-01-16T15:13:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to let all my homies in Waterbury know that I’m not going to talk about how you got butt hurt over the post. Or about how you tried to fight me, and don’t worry I know that “nobody messes with Ron.” Thanks for being cool and apologizing though! See you on the slopes!

Looking back on the year that will be 2009

2008-12-29T11:22:00.000-08:00

The next couple hundred words predict the events that will shape snowboarding in 2009.

January-

Pro shreds from around the globe gather in Mt. Snow Vermont for the Dew Tour. It rains for the first two days, the last day its -5. NBC asks why their tour stops on the East Coast, and the event is relocated to Big Bear for 2010. Shaun wins, Mikkel is the stand out performer. Eero Ettala gets sun burned in a tanning booth, and still wins x-games slopestyle. Chris Englesman wins a hot dog eating contest at SIA.

February-

A new shred crew in Europe called the "Zombies" starts blowing up transworld with sick weekly videos. No one knows who any of the dudes are, but it seems like they all ride for Burton. Gigi films a part for their major film to be released next fall.

March-

The snowboard world again finds itself in Vermont for the US Open. The weather is the same as it always is. Shaun qualifies first but doesn’t show up for the finals, Louie Vito wins, but no one can remember what he did.

Gooner competes in the slopestyle, does some backside 180’s and unclassifiable jibs, he doesn’t make the finals. Hannah wins women’s pipe, or maybe it was Kelly, does anyone know the difference? Trouble Gang plays the after show, everyone talks about how dope it was when Big Pun played.

April-

Quik CEO Bob McKnight makes a bet with Volcom CEO Wooly and fires Quik’s marketing manager. They replace him with a homeless person. Travis Rice hits a big jump, Blauvelt does a line that makes everyone want to go out and buy a snowmobile, and Nicolas does something really cool, than makes us feel bad for wanting a snowmobile.

May-

Quik’s recently fired marketing manager starts a turtle-neck company with Travis Parker and Nima Jalali. The turtle necks use discarded Audex technology and run on d batteries. All the kids have to have them for camp season, Nike buys the company. North Face starts filming for its NoBoard/Telemark Ski movie entitled “All Heels” in AK, Dicks Sporting Goods pays for the heli time. MFM is arrested for tax evasion. Joe Sexton blows out his knee again, and starts developing a new Jean’s line with built in knee brace, they are really tight (physically, not culturally) and hard to put on.

June-

Burton’s marketing department releases a news letter. It is 800 pages long, and crashes all their reps email servers. Orders are delayed, and no one reads it (years later Lyndon State College in VT dedicates a class to study it). The Dingo is arrested and deported for soliciting under age girls and drug possession, Totino’s cancels Danny Kass’s contract. Snow park in NZ doubles the size of its park again, Jimmy’s meat pies has three signature features.

July-

Ken Block jumps his car over the grand canyon, then announces his plans to start an extreme submarine racing circuit, Red Bull co signs it. Libtech unveils its latest technology “The Frownanana,” it features reversed reverse camber and straightoTRaction edges, it is labeled as the future of snowboarding and other companies scramble to catch up.

August-

Bode Merril’s bindings spontaneously catch on fire while he is trying a triple back flip at high cascade, and burn holes in his pants. A new style is born, and Union makes a commemorative binding with flames on it. It never snows in Australia, and Dingo’s bad luck continues as he is beat up by a group of Bowgins live on go211.com at the NZ Open.

September-

The new Grenade video “Stoned Times at Boned High” is released to rave reviews. Gooner’s part is hands down part of the year, only to be later discredited because it was actually Forest Bailey’s part, but no one could tell the difference.

October-

Danny Davis fails a pre-olympic qualifier drug tests. NBC freaks out and cancel’s its support of the Dew Tour, and begins focusing on ice dancing as the Olympics money making event, Alexander Abt is their new poster boy. On the lighter side of things Shaun and Danny realize they both listen to the same trance music and become best friends. Danny quits the Frends crew and he and Shaun start a new gang called the home-ee (pronounced homies). Mason and KP quit snowboarding and start surfing, Scotty is too busy working on new tech for Flow to care, and, according to Keir’s facebook status he is way bummed about the end of the frends, but hopes he can be part of the home-ee. Rumor has it he (Keir) fell out of favor with the Frends once they were old enough to buy beer for themselves.

November-

MFM is released from prison. Kelly Slater wins his 10th surfing world title, Quik files for bankruptcy before paying his bonus. Wooly wins the bet, Patagonia buys Quik. RDM, DCP, and JP release their new board line “yes we did.” People buy them, but the boards suck. Romain gets drunk. Harrison Grey is leading going into the finals of the grand prix at Copper slopestyle but gets bit by a wolf before his run, Lonnie Kauk wins. Gooner wins rider of the year.

December-

Early season snow sends every film crew in the country to Quebec City, Stevie Bell gets arrested, Keegan frontboards a cement ledge with 4 kinks and 2 turns in it, Jeremy invents a new trick. Stale Tails wins best blog of 2009, rawkus records buys it. Daniel Franck qualifies for the US olympic snowboard team.

The Carpentine Code

2008-12-16T06:32:00.000-08:00

Deep within the inte7net many sec7ets lay, the key to gr59t fortune and baller st88tus pay. Cod3s and m4ssages if you kn6w where to 7ook, ga1n you access to the m0st hidd4n of book. Follow th2se clues to a tee, pin of five l8tters, card number thirteen add three. Decode this for a prize better than norm, from Burton Snowboards comes a proform. 4

1^st Letter- at :10 the one dude says “I hate …” The first letter of the thing he hates is the first piece of the code.
2^nd Letter- In the Industry Step-In: Rome SDS post you called me an idiot in the comments, and the first letter of you’re name starts with the 2^nd letter of the code.
3^rd Letter- Is the first letter of the dudes name whose division rank was 38
4th Letter- The best snowboarder in the world has this letter twice is his last name, but you only need to use it once. Need more hints? He once rode for Forum, but left cause they are beat. He has epic parts in The Boned Age and Familia. If you still need help you are a kewk, but you can ask in the comments section.
5^th Letter- The final letter is represented by this signal flag. The end of your journey begins here with barefootbruce. Look toward the comments for guidance

Progressing Progression: The Four Greatest Inventions of the Future of Snowboarding Prt. 3 of 4

2008-12-15T10:49:00.000-08:00

Motor Board
Forget what I said about environmental whatever whatever. Having to remember to bring your snowboard AND snowmobile for a day in the back country is a boner chiller, so why not just get a snowboard that IS a snowmobile and save yourself the extra step. Plus gas is cheap, and if you’re an American and DON’T have a Motor board, you’re probably a communist and should turn yourself in for re-education.

Power Board'in! from stale tails on Vimeo.

Progressing Progression: The Four Greatest Inventions of the Future of Snowboarding Prt. 2 of 4

2008-12-12T08:06:00.000-08:00

Windboardskiing.

In an age of environmental consciousness, sometimes we need look into alternative energy sources. Everyone says “what about wind,” and I say cool, just don’t “blow it” next time you get “blown into” a jump, LOL ;)!! The best part is that, if there is no snow, you can just use your blades or something.

Progressing Progression: The Four Greatest Inventions of the Future of Snowboarding Prt. 1 of 4

2008-12-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

Gold Fish are the greatest snack of all time. The first few handfuls are like totally awesome, but after a while your hands get a little greasy, and you want to stop eating them. Diminishing marginal utility is no joke and expert boarderz, like myself, need to be careful that snowboarding doesn’t get gold fished, so over the next four days, I will let you in on the Four Greatest Inventions of the Future of Snowboarding, so you can keep you game fresh and your scene tight from day one to one million.

The Swiveler.
At a slight 15.8 ounces (for you non-drug dealers that’s just under a pound), the Swiveler could just be the heaviest thing to happen to your snowboarding since beanies with headphones in them. But don’t take my word for it, just listen to what pro boarder Dave Rosen has to say…

"Hi, my name is Dave Rosen and I have been riding your swivler for 1 year its great. I have been snowboarding for the past 10 years and currently ride Mt. Bachelor . Last season when I started to ride the Swivler, I didnt think of using it for the lift line but, just a way to do more tricks. I would come up to a jump in the park with one foot straped in and the other unstraped, once i got into the air i would turn my board in a 360 while my body stays still and doesn't move. Last year I tried it in a competition but didn't land it, however I did get mad props for trying such a trick, you also get lots of looks from other people cause they have never seen such a thing before. This is a very difficult trick and can cause serious injury unless you have alot of experience this should not be attempted but if you do, be careful it's a rush. By the way I vote for a pink one."

Dave Rosen
Pro Snowboarder
Bend, Oregon

DCSHOEPHOTOSHOPCOUSA

2008-12-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

In 1981 I bought a DeLorean. It was sick, it had gullwing doors, and I knew it would get me tons of chicks...

…While even though my DeLorean was like, really awesome and made of solid gold, things didn’t really work out how I wanted them to. It didn’t actually get me tons of chicks, my time travel kit never worked right, and the hood would pop open if I went over 50. The moral of the story is that sometimes new companies have some growing pains, and first runs are sometimes kind of bunk.

So what does this have to do with snowboarding? Well, with so many new companies (or new to certain aspects of snowboarding anyway) breaking into the “market,” I just wanted to send out my assurance, that well things don’t always work perfect right away, give it time and all the problems will work themselves out. Right?

Industry Step-In: ROME SDS

2008-12-03T07:41:00.000-08:00

Having a blog is easy, keeping it updated is hard. Being a Bikini Inspector is not the most rewarding job, but occasionally I get to travel, and sometimes those travels take me to shred mecca’s like Waterbury, Vermont. This past weekend (Thanksgiving), I happened to be in Waterbury to judge the Waterbury Junior College Bikini Bake-Off, and while there I thought I would stop into ROME SDS Headquarters and see whats up.

Owner and founder Donald Rome is apparently a huge stail tale’s fan, so he was more than happy to sit down, and answer a few hard hitting questions. As much of an enigma as a man, taking the time to read this interview with Don could be the most effective use of you time since you book-marked malakye.com

R. Wammybar: Hey Don, hows it bro?
Donald Rome: Fine.

Uh, cool. Ill just get right into this I guess, when and why did you start ROME SDS?
May 6th, 2001 we officially became a snowboarding company. Basically I had just sold my hovercraft business on Cape Cod (MA) and had some money I wanted to start a snowboard company with. A few friends of mine had just left Burton Snowboards, and we pretty much just decided to drop in.

Burton guys ay? What did they do their?
Well, as you might remember, 2001 was the beginning of the end of the step-in binding era. My friends had been the project managers for the Burton SI system, and when the big wigs up in Burlington decided to cut the program, they jumped ship. Both share an intense passion for boardsports, and their passion ran especially deep for step-in bindings. Originally Rome was going to do only Step-In bindings, we thought we could dominate the market, but after a few botched prototypes and some market research, we just sold all our tech to FLOW and focused on snowboards.

Woah baby, that’s cool. I would still wear step-ins today if I could find them
Yeah, same.

I was joking…
Me too (wink*)

While on the topic of Burton, tell me a little bit about your “This is Snowboarding” promotion
Well, because of snowboarding a lot of things have changed in all of our lives. It means something different to everyone and we wanted to give people the chance to speak out, and let us know what it (snowboarding) means to them.

Cool idea, sounds familiar… Tell me about your powder sucks ad, that was pretty dope
Yeah thanks. Really with that one we just didn’t have a lot of money to put into creative, and that step-child board is pretty neat, so we just stole the idea. No big deal though, right?

Word. Well cool man, thanks for taking the time to do this
No problem bro, keep up the good work. Staletail.blogspot.com is for sure my second favorite site, after the ROME one of course! PEACE!

Stunt Boarder to Stunt Man: The Ben Hinkley Story

2008-11-20T20:28:00.000-08:00

The daytime warmth had long given way to the chill of Vermont night. Everyone was exhausted from a day of spectating, legs tired and cramping, shoes icy and wet, but no one could leave. History was in the making, snowboarding was changing. The year was 2000 and this was the last ever US Open Big Air event.

That in itself is far from pivotal. What was pivotal, however, was Ben Hinkley’s performance. In what many would consider the peak of his (snowboard) career, Hinkley had been slaying the big air scene all season with his signature lawn dart, and was a shoe in for the Open title. In the first round of the big air finals, Hinkley thrilled the crowd as he dove through the air head first, flipping around to land cleanly on his feet at the last second. Spectators cheered, but the judges did not, and Ben was left needing a big score. In an unfamiliar position Ben’s nerves got the best of him, and he fell in his second run. Great competitors are fueled by great competition, they thrive when their backs are to wall, and that fall was all the motivation Ben needed. In his final run he sent it; soaring over the nose of his board on the take off, turning chaos into beauty as he flipped over and over; two full front flipping rotations left the crowd stunned. Riding down the landing, arms raised, it was a forgone conclusion that Ben had just won the US Open, the judges just had to make it official…

...But the judges made a stand, rewarding lateral spins over vertical stunts, and as Ben’s name slowly fell down the leader board, his character quickly sank into obscurity. (Jussi’s switch back 9 won, and he is still reigning US Open Big air champ)

Flash forward to 2007. Nearly eight years later the highs and lows of professional snowboarding once again find Ben Hinkley on center stage, awaiting a judge’s score, albeit a totally different stage and a totally different score. This time it is not a double front flip that will determine his fate at the US Open, but a blooper filled snowboarding run along side Queen Latifah at the Tourus World Stunt Awards (nominated for the film Last Holiday(2006)). Ben didn’t win the award for best specialty stunt that night, but he did take a giant step forward for all aging professional riders. The transition from stunt snowboarder to stunt man will never be an easy one, but thanks to Ben the path is lit.

hinkley 2x front flip xtreme from stale tails on Vimeo.

JEAH!

Putting the D back in Snowboar: Shaun White Snowboarding

2008-11-18T16:49:00.001-08:00

Combining breathtakingly underwhelming graphics with mindnumbingly prohibitive controls Shaun White Snowboarding is a video game about snowboarding. Inspired by the snowboarding of Shaun White, and the snowboarding lifestyle itself, Shaun White Snowboarding is about more than just “tricking” and “going fast” while snowboarding, its about living life, taking risks, and riding down hill while snowboarding just like Shaun White on a physics driven “havoc” snowboard. Yeah Snowboarding!! (if anyone has a sound bite of T Pain saying awesome, email it to staletails@gmail.com and I'll add it here)

Shaun White Snowboarding from Frozen Nature on Vimeo.

Unfortunately even with an Urkeled focus, this game was unable to keep my attention and was really kind of a sog fest. Surely Shaun was too busy driving his Red Bull fueled Geländewagen to test it himself, and although wildly disappointing, Shaun White Snowboarding is still way better than Scrable for game boy (the computer is too good even on easy), so go buy yourself a couple copies!!

(this post was a lesson in SEO, Shaun White!)

Chas'ing the Dream

2008-11-10T21:05:00.000-08:00

The first day of 1995 was a Sunday. Some places were warm, some were cold, wet or dry, cloudy or sunny, it didn’t matter, because for most, 1995 started just like any other year.

One young man, however, was about to witness an event that would forever change his life. A breath-taking spectacle for all in attendance, the Eikedalen Freestyle has long been known as Norway’s premier event for high-flying acrobatics and envelope pushing aerials. While this may be well known to you and I, it was not well known to a young Cindy Guldemond.

Only a few weeks before the EF went down, Cindy had, on a whim, substituted her double pack of Winston 100’s for a Lucky14 Scratch off Lottery ticket. Cindy had never considered herself a lucky woman, born and raised on the racetracks of Laconia, NH; she had lived a hard life. Her father Charles Sr., or Chas for short, had nearly made it on the funny car drag race circuit, but during his first professional race a freak traction problem saw his car spin out of control. Four full circular rotations later, Chas was physically fine, but mentally he was unable to race anymore, always afraid of spinning out of control. Cindy had spent her adolescence dealing with her fathers aguish, but knew it was time for her to focus her attention on something else, her young son. At only 8 years old Chas Jr. shared little of his namesakes fear of spinning; bold and outspoken, Cindy saw hope in his shiny green eyes, and that is why, on that December day she gave Chas her scratch ticket.

They say that everything happens for a reason, and when Chas uncovered four leprechauns on that ticket, Cindy knew there was a reason they won a trip to a small ski field in Norway. Not the typical scratch off prize, they were both shocked and excited at their win. A few days of planning, a few bags packed, a few hours of traveling, and this story takes us back to where it started, The Eikedalen Freestyle.

The sky was grey and cold, the jump dark, and the light flat, but that didn’t deter the competitors from putting it all on the line. Chas and Cindy had never seen eagles so spread or daffy’s so split, both were thoroughly impressed, but no amount of impression could prepare them for what they were about to see. In an instant, a lifetime of fear and uncertainty would be put at ease, a jumbled existence would be put in order, and a young boy would see what he would be as a grown man. History has passed over the skiers name, but not his trick.

While “spinning to win” seems so obvious to us all today, it was not always so clear. It was not long ago that amplitude and style could best multiple spins in competition, and if it weren’t for past legends like the unknown skier above, or for living legends like the young boy turned man Chas Guldmond, people might still be trying to do aesthetically pleasing tricks in competition.

Thanks Chas, you are an inspiration to us all.

Pony Tale!

2008-10-31T12:14:00.000-07:00

Horses don’t really remind me of snowboarding, neither do ponies. This must be some kind of inside joke…

Pony Tale from Actionhorse Films on Vimeo.

…either way, as much as I like to spread hate, Hampus, Jakob, Gulli, and crew put together a pretty dope film. Not so much for the snowboarding, but for the positive Ju-ju it creates for my spirit wave. That plus those knee drag methods were rather carbonated.

Eastern Boarder Team Drinks One too Many White Wine Spritzers…

2008-10-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Check out the new Eastern Boarder Video if you want, its got carbonation for sure. Some pretty dangerous rails from Maine to California, and neat backcountry action from Tahoe to uh… Mammoth or so. All in all some rad snowboarding. What wasn’t that rad was when a few of the team decided it would be cool to roll their pants up over their boots, and then go riding flood pants style. Nice one guys, at least you’ll be able to get your boots off faster when your boy friend says its snuggle time.

Whatever though, I thought the video was dope anyway, and its free. Decide for yourself, watch it here or down load from the EB site

Part 1

Part 2

The Truff About Ruf

2008-10-23T06:17:00.000-07:00

It’s old news now, but Burton wonder kid turned Un… Inc super star Gigi Ruf is now riding head to board for the puppet masters at Volcom (I’ll explain later). Sure Volcom is a cool brand, but why leave the unequivocal leader in the snowboard industry (Burton), for the publically traded leader in action sports core score (Volcom)? The internet is full of rumors. Maybe his soda was flatted cause Un… Inc is coming to an end, maybe Shaun needed a new Lambo, maybe 1998 called and said the Volcom Stone was the coolest sticker around, or maybe he was just bummed cause Gryme Time got cut from the team. Whatever you have heard, we are about to set the record straight…

...These photos are probably pretty self explanatory, but I will elaborate.

After leading a meditation retreat this summer, I was invited by David Miscavige (if you don’t know, google it dummy) to help him out with a special project. He and some of his homies had recently purchased stock in a not so small action sports company based out of Costa Mesa, CA, and they were interested in expanding its growth potential by capitalizing on the “snowboarding” market. While not knowing much about it, Dave had made a fortune off some roller blade companies in the past, so he knew what he had to be done. After doing some research Dave found some potential “pro athletes” to promote his new company and help push their proddy. The only problem was, none of the “athletes” he wanted would ever dream of riding their snowboards for such a wack brand. This wasn’t the first time Dave had faced such issues. A few years back he had to build hype around a religion he was helping to get off the ground, and there was a very simple solution: Lenticular-auxillary-manipulative-exploration also know as LAME or more commonly mind control.

After five weeks of staring into a power crystal, under the false pretense of shakra cleansing, one of my favorite snowboarders closed the door on Burton and joined forces with everything that is wrong with the “industry.” It’s a sad day for me, a sad day for shredding, and a disappointing day for all the kewks that think Volcom is good for snowboarding.